It’s been over 3 years since Darrick and I separated. Never in a million years did I think I would be on the other side of the camera taking pictures of him and our boys. If you would have told me I’d be photographing them I would have looked at you like you were crazy! Like most divorces, ours wasn’t easy at the beginning. There was a lot of pain, hurt and feelings of betrayal. Most days we couldn’t even have a normal conversation without feeling like one person was attacking the other.
When Darrick and I decided to get divorced, it was definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Soon after I would learn that being pregnant without the support of my husband would be just as hard if not harder. Still, I hoped and prayed that things would get better and that we’d reach a new “normal.”
I always encouraged family photos and we even took some last year as a family. We have come such a long a way from those early divorce days and I couldn’t be more grateful.
About a 6-9 months after Aiden was born, we finally got our stuff together and starting working together. We both got on the same page because tegardless of us being married or not, we still needed to have a relationship to raise our two little boys. These boys deserve more than parents who can be cordial and do the dropping off and picking up of the kids. They deserve to have 2 parents that are happy and put them first EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. They had nothing to do with the divorce and shouldn’t have to feel the burden of our issues.
I used to think about divorce and it would terrify me because of the horror stories you’d here. About parents fighting and using their kids to hurt each other. It breaks my heart that kids are put in these situations by the ones whose sole purpose on this is to earth to protect them.
If there’s anyone reading this and you’re going through a similar situation, remember that your kids should live in a world where they are loved by their parents and put first. Always and forever. That YOU are the parent and should be providing them with a safe environment. You can’t do that if you’re always living in the mindset of trying to come up with a way to “get back” at your ex. If the other parent is being more difficult than you’d like, remain focused on your kids and what’s in their best interest. I got lucky that in my situation. It took some time but things just clicked.
Yes, it’s painful and there are always multiple sides to every story. Your little ones don’t care about that. They care about their parents and their family. Protect their innocence for as long as you can. Let it go and be that person that your child needs you to be. Their protector <3
Okay, I’m off my soap box now! Back to our regular scheduled programming 🙂